


My heart wants to sigh like the chime that flies

by Terfle



Category: Casualty (TV), Holby City, The Sound of Music - Rodgers/Hammerstein/Lindsay & Crouse
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Gen, Musicals, Post-Divorce, Romance, Village life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-01 14:45:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 7,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14522916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Terfle/pseuds/Terfle
Summary: AU in a village life. Holby is putting on a production of the sound of music. Will Bernie get the chance to fulfil her secret dream of being Maria von Trapp? Will Serena find true love without murdering her ex-husband? Dylan is on the tonic water and Raf observes





	1. Chapter 1

‘Well, he’s hardly our age is he?’ Commented Edward with a dismissive grin.

‘Well he can play the part so why not?’ Argued Serena. She knew what he was thinking. Despite the age gap, Raf was _her_ good friend so of course he would play alongside her in Holby village’s amateur dramatic society’s production of _the sound of music_. Truth be told, Serena didn’t think she could stand being up on stage with Edward pretending to be his Baroness fiancée. Pretending to be in love with him. She’d been there done that a lifetime ago and she’d had no wish to go back there. Biggest mistake of her life.

‘I can make him look more mature’ cut in Bernie, the village hairdresser. She was a dab hand at makeup too and had been recruited as part of the wardrobe team despite her no fuss look. She spent so much time doing other people’s hair that she had no patience for her messy mop. Makeup was for other people.

‘Ok fine, let’s do that. If Ric wants to mess around with the sound team instead, there’s no reason why Raf can’t take his place.’

Edward shrugged. ‘Alright my dear if that’s what you want.’

Serena flashed him a look of pure loathing. She hated it when he did that. Bernie wondered why she’d ever thought they had been happily married. She was the village’s latest arrival, opening up a hair salon to the grateful hordes of Holby’s desperately unstyled population who were forced to trek to another village for it. She was new, she had a lot to learn. She also hated confrontation and to be stuck around these two made her inch slowly towards the door. This time she stayed put, willing to argue for Raf and her modest makeup skills. An angry Serena did not equal a happy atmosphere. Her ex-husband knew how to wind her up and how Bernie wished he’d leave the village. She’d never had a problem personally with him (too old for him) but she saw the kind of letch he was around the young women and it made her skin crawl. No wonder Serena despised him. Their marriage must have hit the rocks pretty early.

The team decided on Raf playing the part of Max Detweiler. Edward conceded as he really didn’t care, it was a secondary character and unlikely to take away from his central role as Captain von Trapp. Ric was in the running to play the role but with his personal history mocking him, he decided against it. His ex-wife Lola was recruited for the show and stayed there, the best choice for Mother Superior. She was a fabulous singer with a voice that could boom around a building, echo in your heart and steal your soul. Not many of those around Holby village. Serena herself was an accomplished singer but she acknowledged that she didn’t have the same power. The Baroness was the only role available to her after Lola’s spectacular takeover but she didn’t mind. She had two duets with Raf and quite liked the role. Just not playing alongside Edward for it.


	2. Chapter 2

Liberty. Liberty had ousted her competitors to play the virginal Maria. Serena snorted in derision. She was a good singer but Serena was sure that Edward had swung it. For all his insinuation that Serena was too old to play many roles, Liberty wasn't a teenager by any means. Not that it should have been Serena's business anymore but she was half annoyed that the little minx had got the role and half relieved that the lovely Jasmine (who was the better choice) wasn't going to be subjected to Edward's lecherous side. Liberty could more than handle him, in fact she was sure that Liberty had done so several times in the vestry. But Connie and Henrik were the directors and what they said, went. Everyone was confident that they could lead the team so they left it at that.

The nuns assembled. Bea (the joker), Jasmine (the enthusiastic nun), Dom (he was up for anything) and the reluctant Jac (the disapproving nun) rehearsed with Lola, who swept onto the stage with a regal air. Ric watched the scene, remembering how he'd fallen for that many times. They weren't suited to each other but he couldn't help being drawn to her regardless. These days they were better friends than ever. Living on opposite ends of the village helped, companionable dinners at home and drinking at Albie's, (the village pub) made them far happier than when they were married.

Dylan who was acting as light technician, huffed at the choice of show and banished thoughts of his careful test tube measuring of whiskey. He was a recovering alcoholic and it sucked. Bernie had confiscated his stash away for his own good and for her own personal use. He consoled himself that she was one of the few people round here who would appreciate it. They had shared many companionable whiskeys together before she had learned of his habit. Neither of them were big talkers and they could spend an hour in comfortable silence punctuated by brief observations. She was the first to find out and the first to take steps to help him. Tonic water was their poison when they kept each other company now.


	3. Chapter 3

Liberty was out with the flu and Connie couldn't help cursing the manipulative little wench. Henrik, being one of the few men impervious to her charms, suggested they replace her with Bea or Jasmine for the week. Connie shuddered at the thought of Jasmine playing alongside Edward but tested them out. It was as she feared, Jasmine was too shy with not enough spirit to her. Maybe if it wasn't for the unfortunate Edward she would be better. Liberty had better chemistry with him but she had to tone down the flirting. She could see Serena's disgust from the wings and wondered for the millionth time how impeccable, polished Serena could get it so wrong. While she had managed to get out of his clutches as fast as she could, the damage was already done, their daughter the unwilling victim, brat that she was. She felt an unfamiliar sense of pity with what Serena had to put up with.

Serena was fed up of Liberty throwing herself at Edward. It was nauseating. But the chemistry worked. She hated that. Her eyes alighted on firecracker Bea with her lilting accent and she thought, why not? She wasn't going to take any crap from that ex-husband of hers. She was sharp enough to add some bite to the role. She went to go and sit in the audience to suggest it to Connie.

Bernie, cleaning her tools, glanced up every so often. This exchange between Jasmine and Edward was painful to watch. She thought Jasmine would play a good Liesel instead. Henrik took her suggestion on board and consulted with Connie. They were going to have to switch the rehearsals around and sneakily audition.

'Bea, take up the role of Maria and Jasmine for Liesel' ordered Connie. They shuffled the playing cards and kept restarting.

The directors put their heads together and considered the switch. They liked it. They marked Bea as the understudy and moved on.


	4. Chapter 4

Bea couldn't make it the next day. Henrik leafed through the script and decided on training the children a little more. He summoned the little rascals for a rendition of  _do re mi_  and looked around for a stand-in. Anyone would do. He beckoned to one of the backstage crew and asked her to play the role for the song. Did she know it?

Bernie didn't realise she was eligible for an understudies understudy, went into a state of terror. To everyone else she stood and stared dumbly but Serena saw the flicker of panic in her eyes and reassured her that it was fine, she just needed to recite the lines and block the scenes. It was all about testing the children.

Bernie thought she was mad to agree but slowly made herself walk up the steps and surround herself with the children. There were times in her life that she wished that her own home life could have been just like that, making clothes out of curtains and singing jolly little tunes. How stupid she had been, trying to play happily families with an unsuspecting husband and indifferent kids. It never would have worked. Her chest felt tight thinking about it and she felt a bit wobbly. She looked so lost and faltering in the middle of the stage that Serena's heart twanged and she had to run in from the wings to calm her.

'Don't be so anxious. Just go back to basics and feel the character. What she says and does feels natural to her. Even though you're leading the scene, you do need to take your cue from the children as much as they do from you so always be alert without looking like you are. That's one of the hardest parts. Give it a try.'

Bernie was glad Serena was blocking her from view because she knew she looked pathetic. Even though Serena was no nonsense, her eyes and touch on Bernie's arms was warm and understanding.

'Try this on.'

Bernie climbed into the dirndl skirt, all the better to swish with and started blocking the scenes. She was surprised to realise that she wasn't that bad. In fact, she was really starting to get into it and while her singing voice was no match for the mighty score, she muddled through and as long as it was in tune, what did it matter? She wasn't going to be in the damn thing when the time came.

Serena enjoyed the rehearsal. There was nothing contrived about Bernie's performance, just something simple and genuine about her manner. She could almost convince herself that Bernie was 25 years younger. Serena wished she could see more confidence from her though, the poor woman had been shaking like a leaf at the start.

Something that surprised them all was when she had to do a scene with Edward. Thank goodness it wasn't the love scene because Bernie couldn't act that well. Challenging the Captain proved a little too easy and she wondered if she should tone it down. But Connie and Henrik loved it and called for another few takes. Serena was a little shocked to see her stand up to Edward but intensely gratified, she suspected that the directors (as well as her) just wanted to see Bernie do it a few more times just to piss him off. Edward was not taking it well.

His amphibian face just made Bernie's fist itch to punch it. She'd rarely had this reaction before so her willingness to do it had concerned her quite a lot and it fed into her scene, directed into concern for the children. Bugger the children, she just couldn't understand why Serena had ever fallen for his charm.

'Bloody hell, you could have been a little less…scary' spluttered Edward after rehearsal. Bernie saw Serena watching them and decided to retaliate once more.

'Just playing the role, doing some acting' she said, flashing him an insincere smile. She felt Serena's eyes on the back of her head as she strode out, the satisfaction at winding him up matching up between the two of them.


	5. Chapter 5

'Could you go again?'

Bernie was up for the understudies understudy again. She went through the motions with the formidable Lola and sat there like a lemon while that beautiful voice soared and the woman acted her soul out. Being Maria was hard and quite frankly, exhausting. She didn't know how real actors did it.

Nevertheless, she had enjoyed playing Maria even though she'd never see the light of stage for real and her kids would have just laughed at her, not to mention her ex-husband.

Speaking of ex-husbands, Edward was turning on the charm and it was pissing Serena off considerably. Inbetween takes of the ballroom scene, Bernie got in the way of that poisonous glowering and had to remind herself it was the mood that Edward inspired in her.

'Remind me what I'm doing with this idiot again?'

Bernie looked back at Edward attempting to flirt with Connie, Charlie and Duffy watching on, sniggering in the corner while they painted mountain blocks.

'I thought you divorced him?'

'Not in the show I haven't.'

'Oh! I get it.'

It always amused Serena when well meaning Bernie was slow on the uptake. It was almost adorable, that wide eyed gaze and embarrassed shake of the head when she realised. Her retro glasses and hopelessly messy mane completed the picture. They watched Edward try and fail with one half of the directing team.

'I need an incentive. Remind me why I'm in love with him again?' She muttered.

'The money. Think of the money.'

They looked at him.

'It's losing its appeal.'

'Much like his hair.'

Bernie clapped a hand over her mouth and babbled an apology. That was the bitchiest thing she'd said so far since moving here, she wasn't prone to saying things like that out loud. Serena looked at her in amazement and barked with laughter. It was about time Bernie started speaking her mind and she told her so.

Bernie's shock at the permission to be rude showed on her face. Serena thought it was just as adorable and told her so. Sweeping offstage to brush up on her lines, Serena sat in the corner and tried to concentrate on the job at hand. Try as she might, she couldn't get her mind off a certain person. Being manager of the travel agents, she was used to selling points but couldn't find a way to sell Bernie the understanding that she was free to step out from her corner and be a lot bolder at times. Stepping into Maria's shoes for rehearsals brought out the spark in that mild mannered hairdresser.


	6. Chapter 6

'I'm afraid I don't have anything suitable to wear.'

Maria sounded panicked, frightened eyes vying with the Baroness's sly smirk.

'You can wear  _this'_  she said, scooping up the old blue dress and holding it up to her rival's frame. 'It's perfectly charming.'

Maria looked uncertainly at her and the Baroness smiled triumphantly. She delivered her parting shot.

'Georg will love you in it.'

'What do you mean?'

'You do know how he looks at you? He can't resist a pretty girl like you.'

A thrill ran through them, a hesitation before Maria stammered out her denial was enough to derail the flow a little but it was a slight hitch that could be ironed out. All in all, it was a shame that they were going with the musical version of it and not the film scene. Serena would have liked to have had her small revenge on the scheming Liberty Maria but she had to make do with re-enacting the scene from the film with Bernie Maria to set the tone for that particular bit of the scene. Bernie was becoming accustomed to being the stand-in and even started to enjoy it, until that stiff love scene with Edward. That she couldn't do.

'Good job! You're doing very well as Maria. Liberty isn't going to know what's hit her.'

'She'll be back tomorrow' said Bernie, blushing furiously at the praise. She'd never stepped on a stage in her life.

Serena expressed her regret and they stopped for coffee with Raf and his natty fake moustache. They'd discovered that each other liked good quality coffee, plain, hot and strong and sought each other out as much as possible for their breaks. After this play was over, Serena thought of inviting Bernie to join her in habitual drinks at Albie's. Lovely as she was, she was a little distant and needed to find some good friends.

Bernie sat back and watched Serena and Raf practice their double act. She admired the way Serena wound herself around men; dancing with Raf and coiling and withdrawing teasingly with Edward in their first song even though he had no lines and just had to sit there looking mildly exasperated with a newspaper. Serena took it to the next level in  _how can love survive?,_ leaning her upper body back and gracefully sprawling on the table next to Edward, barring his newspaper with her arm as he attempted to read while she sang about not being able to be Camille for him. Quite right too, thought Bernie dryly. Serena was no pitiful self sacrificing Camille. She was much more sensational than that. The way she looped her arms around his neck and sang to him made Bernie sigh with slight crossness. With no particular reason really.

Today though, Bernie was to play stand-in again, this time for the Captain himself. All she had to do was sit there with a newspaper and looked annoyed. She could do that. So she did. With all of her might because Serena kept distracting her. That perfume led her places in her mind that she'd tried to stamp down but it was much harder than she realised. Of course Serena was acting the part, treating her like the Captain and Bernie was dazzled. Who wouldn't be when Serena tilted their chin up and sang to them? Her hands, resting on her shoulders were warm and the touch of her fingers set off sparks on Bernie's skin. She enjoyed the moment where the Captain captured the Baroness's hand to pull her up from the table.

Raf noticed. Raf multitasked like he'd never done before and played his part well, all the while observing the gaze between them. Under Serena's touch, Bernie came out of her shell. Serena didn't change the way she played it, flirting and fluttering as she always did but the way Bernie was looking at her was a giveaway. That intensity needed to be saved for Maria but this Captain had no eyes for a nun.


	7. Chapter 7

Dylan wasn't entirely oblivious, he could tell there was something on Bernie's mind. She had been staring into space for a while now. He checked. There was nothing interesting on the floor.

'Tell me.'

She's told him repeatedly it was nothing but he wasn't fooled.

'Please don't tell me it's that knobhead Edward. Is he getting to you?'

'No! I wouldn't touch him if he were the last man on earth.'

'So no holding a candle for him then?'

'Seriously?'

'Well if it didn't fool Serena for long…'

'You'd soon regain your right mind after a week with him.'

'Well it's something. Or someone?'

Bernie hesitated too long and made the mistake of looking at him. An unfamiliar smug expression crossed his face, he had figured it out.

'Speaking of Serena…'

Bernie's heart fluttered at the mention of her. Her expression must have changed because Dylan leapt on it.

'Oh. Serena is it?'

'Keep your voice down!' She hissed.

'I bet Raf's noticed. He and Serena are best friends.'

'Please don't say anything' she pleaded, mortified that her huge crush would be broadcast to the village.

Dylan wasn't the kind of person to make someone squirm so he let it go. But he wasn't going to let it slip from his mind. He was wondering if this was a habit of hers, falling for other women. Bernie read his mind and frowned. She didn't want everyone to know about the breakup of her marriage but she knew Dylan was no gossip and sometimes she ached to talk it over. It was always just her and her thoughts.

'If I tell you, will you drop it?'

Dylan nodded as she faltered through her version of events, sugar coating nothing, knowing that she was the guilty party and nothing could excuse that. Not even having been trapped in the London tube bombing had convinced anyone to stick by her after Marcus had emerged as the real injured party in their relationship. That scar on her chest taunted her, a mark of shame to remind her of the adoring husband at her side; encouraging her towards recovery, not knowing what she was capable of. She had decided that she wanted a divorce some months before that and he hadn't taken her seriously. He did after she was well enough to go to the solicitors and one of her clients had told him everything she'd seen. Alex Dawson was a journalist assigned to interview victims in recovery of the bombing and couldn't believe her luck when she found the senior consultant of Rush hairdressers in Goodge street had gone back to work. She could tell she hadn't been the same person as before and got her perspective on things before she moved in with a kiss. It had been going on for two shocking months; stolen moments behind closed doors and furtive sexual tension. Bernie became distracted, distant to the point where Marcus noticed. They were still living in the same house and she had taken the spare room but he just didn't know what to think anymore. That blast had changed her. But news of her affair had changed him even more. She could never go back to their circle after that.

Dylan was interested to know what had went on, considering that the woman involved wasn't even in the picture anymore. So there Bernie was, alone and reviled in a village far far away and doing penance for her sins. It was going to take a lot of time for her kids to come around. He questioned her wish fulfilment about playing Maria von Trapp and she confessed everything, poured her heart out in a stream of regrets. He was starting to realise why she kept her silence on the matter. She was ashamed and felt like an imposter when somebody in London had given her a seat on the tube, having recognised her from the newspaper. She deserved nothing after what she did to her family.

Dylan wondered if she'd ever get over it.


	8. Chapter 8

Serena liked her little house and her job and her pleasant life with her nephew. If only she could get rid of her ex-husband as well, life would be good. The irritating Liberty was back and everyone was enjoying rehearsals a lot less now. The understudies made it fun and laid back, now it was hard at work to finish the prep. Normally they would have enjoyed the process but the leads just got people's backs up. Serena was particularly delighted when Lola voiced the opinion that Liberty was all fur coat and no knickers _._ They sniggered at Edward's foolishness to be taken in by yet another pretty face. Lola told her that the only good taste Edward ever had was in cars, coffee and choosing her as his wife, fool that he was to not be a proper husband. Serena was flattered and told her so. Lola shrugged and bolstered her ego by telling her she was too good for him. She meant it. Edward was Serena's biggest mistake and everyone knew it.

Bernie jolted her out of her thoughts by batting the dress in front of her like a kitten. Attracted by the movement as she knew she would, Serena reached for her evening attire and considered it. Black and beaded, it would drape nicely. All eyes on the dress, she slipped off her own and tried this one on. The dress fit beautifully, as Bernie knew it would. She covertly admired Serena's form as she smoothed it down and twisted round to see herself in the mirror, frowning in concentration. Agreed that it was perfect. Bernie hoped she wasn't being too obvious.


	9. Chapter 9

'So you and Bernie are getting on well' Raf observed.

Serena pointed out how Bernie rarely socialised and that the poor woman needed friends. Nobody knew why she'd come here and she'd kept herself so busy people had stopped wondering about her.

'I bet Dylan knows. Dylan's her friend.'

Serena did wonder at that. An unlikely pair, the shy hairdresser and the cantankerous postman. They both had an annoying habit of getting up early, she to jog and him to deliver. It had gone through both Serena and Raf's minds to think there was something going on between them. They kept each other company a lot of evenings but as far as anyone could tell, they weren't doing anything but drinking which was disappointing. The village needed a good romance story. But Serena didn't think they were it. She didn't see magic between them.

Ever since she'd done that rehearsal, she'd been confused. She'd had a couple of months to think about it and each time it led her to the same conclusion, she looked forward to seeing Bernie. She liked to see that serious face light up with a sparkle of mischief in her eyes and a smile every so often. There was something mysterious about her and yet she seemed so artless. Serena couldn't make her out.

'Perhaps you're coming on too strong' he suggested. 'That last rehearsal you did was a bit much.'

She frowned.

'That was months ago. And anyway, I was playing the part.'

'Yes but you scared the poor woman.'

Serena dismissed this silly notion with a wave of her Shiraz holding hand, skilfully not spilling a drop.

'She was fine. A little too attentive as the Captain but…'

Serena stopped and thought about how attentive Bernie had been. She'd truly enjoyed doing that scene and all because of a change of Captain. She'd so wanted Ric to play it, she knew she could do so much better playing alongside him but Bernie's unwavering look had unnerved and delighted her at the same time. Had she played it up even more that day? She couldn't remember. She did remember that Bernie's collar was crooked and she'd adjusted it, as part of the performance. Too much? Possibly. Their hands had touched for a bit and it had felt better than her morning coffee. Even more warm and tingly. She shook her head. She had spent too long indulging in box sets and cuddling with her nephew's golden retriever. She was turning into an old lady, getting excited by some…hand holding. And hair touching. Quite a lot of touching really.

Something in her expression alerted Raf to the suspicion that Serena was getting a little too invested in this lone neighbour. He could have sworn that Bernie's crush on Serena was unrequited but his best friend seemed to be considering the possibility of the existence of said crush. He waited for her to acknowledge it or say something but she kept quiet. Carried on drinking.

There was nothing wrong with keeping her options open, was there? She had to admit, it did give her a thrill to think of another woman that way. It hadn't even crossed her mind before but the way she felt when she saw Bernie wasn't going away. It wasn't like with Edward. That had been short lived and tempestuous. This had crept up on her so slowly, she'd barely felt it until now. She didn't realise how much she was looking forward to their coffee dates until they missed one. She found herself looking at Bernie more than she should do, these days. It was worth it to catch a smile from her though. Sometimes she looked up to see that Bernie had beaten her to it, those dark eyes giving her the full beam without revealing anything behind it. Serena did like a challenge.


	10. Chapter 10

Bernie started her day being bulldozed by a giant golden retriever.

'Sorry! I'm so sorry, she just does that.'

Bernie looked up through the fur from her vantage point on the ground to see the funny side of it. Serena shooed the dog away and held out her hand to pull her back up. Bernie cocked her head to the side and stupidly stared at her for a few seconds but Serena didn't seem to mind. She seemed amused, looking at Bernie like she was a puppy. Finally they stopped staring at each other enough to right themselves, brushing off the dirt and making a fuss over the dog who was gambolling around the lamppost.

'Greta can get a little over excited' she explained as the dog playfully attacked her shopping bag.

Bernie was charmed. She and Greta were going to be best of friends.

'She's my nephew's dog. He named her after Greta Garbo. If we get a cat I'll call her Marlene so they can fight it out together and maybe be adorable and sleep in the same basket once in a while.'

Bernie appreciated all of this ridiculousness, she barked with laughter over the thought of Serena's tidy house being overrun with super furry animals.

'What a wonderful sound' Serena remarked. 'There really is no end to your talents, is there?'

Bernie blushed and shyly tucked her hair behind her ear. Serena laughed in delight, wanting to see that more. It was so naively charming, she vowed to make it happen again. Feeling exposed, Bernie tried to change tack by offering to walk the dog every so often. Or dogsit every so often.

'If you could, that would be great. Jason wants to take Greta everywhere with him but his workplace doesn't let him so she can get a bit lonely during the day. He's also taught her to use a litter tray which is handy but it still doesn't endear his boss to her.'

'Perhaps I can find her a space in the salon. I'm sure the customers won't mind. I have a small yard out in the back.'

For that, she gained a permanent chef for Serena invited her to her house for dinner forever.


	11. Chapter 11

Bernie missed rehearsing. She had really enjoyed inhabiting a character and trying on a different skin. Maybe the next time they staged a play, she could actually audition? The thought terrified and excited her.

'What are you thinking?'

She gave a start at being dragged into real life with Serena's question hanging in the air. She'd been watching Bea with the children and ready to jump in with a prompt, something she'd been promoted to. Liberty accepted the decision with bad grace. She prided herself on knowing her lines. Silly bitch was at the dentist today.

'I wouldn't want to be a real actor. That would be exhausting. But I really have enjoyed doing this. Being on stage and pretending to be someone else.'

'Don't we all? We'd love it if you auditioned for whatever the next play is. If you want to.'

Bernie smiled and considered her options.

'What else are you thinking?'

Serena wouldn't normally be this annoying but she had Bernie all to herself, a thought that made her tingle with anticipation.

'That I've never had a best friend before' Bernie dared to say, risking a glance at her companion. They spoke in low tones, practically inaudible, reading each others lips almost.

'Who's your best friend?' Serena asked curiously.

'You.'

The look of delighted surprise on Serena's face gave Bernie hope. Dylan had been relentless in nudging Bernie towards her unrequited yearning and as much as it annoyed her to admit it, it had made a difference. They weren't just bumping into each other at the supermarket anymore, they were WhatsApping each other with silly little things during their day. They drove into the next village of Midsomer to watch their production of  _Calamity Jane,_  stupid as it was and Bernie enjoyed the evening immensely, walking arm in arm on a different street where they could be anonymous at the Italian restaurant. Over dessert they both agreed that Jane and Katie should have run off with each other instead of those macho cowboys they ended up with. Bernie looked across at those mischievous eyes and thought she could drown in them forever, resisting every urge to lean over and kiss her. She'd never shared dessert with anyone before, it was the most intimate thing she'd done in a long time. After that she'd longed for the day she would have another opportunity but it hadn't happened yet. She'd started bringing in pain au chocolat to the travel agents, a morning ritual she refused to stop because it meant she could see Serena before work. Taking every opportunity for a mid-morning break, Serena welcomed the interruption to go and chat over second breakfast before Bernie opened the salon. Noel the baker soon figured out the reason for this new habit but said nothing, noting the direction Bernie took everyday and it wasn't to the salon.


	12. Chapter 12

It was a lazy day on a stormy Sunday, they lay on the sofa with the big dumb blonde dog in the middle and dozed. They were getting used to this; this comfortable silence, sharing the sofa, blasting the radio and cooking in the kitchen together. It had become so familiar, like they had been doing it for years. Bernie had never slipped into such domesticity with such a lack of awkwardness. She felt like she'd known Serena all her life.

'I could stay like this forever' murmured Serena.

'You have no idea how much I'd love that' whispered Bernie. She wasn't sure if Serena had heard her but the words hovered, ghosting into a mist that scented the air with hope.

They felt content and peaceful snuggled in their cocoon against the world as the rain lashed down and Greta's snores paced out the minutes.

Jason interrupted a couple of hours later with a request to watch the world's strongest man but they didn't mind because they had bolognese to make. To dance around the kitchen to 80s hits and throw limp strands of spaghetti at each other, to come dangerously close to lingering touches in the most unexpected places. A warning bell in Bernie's head told her not to allow herself to be spoiled but she beat it back for once. She didn't deserve this but her longing for it had eclipsed everything. She'd never wanted this more.


	13. Chapter 13

'You choose. I'm not picky.'

Bernie chose the side nearest to her. She didn't care as long as she was with Serena. The thought of waking up with the owner of those playful eyes made her fidgety and excited. It should feel awkward but it didn't. The fact that Serena thought nothing of it warned her that she didn't feel the same way and she was determined to be casual about it.

It was a resolution doomed to fail once Serena had remarked on how cute Bernie's pale pink pyjamas were. Bernie stuttered her thanks like a schoolgirl. Serena just looked amused and got into bed. She was wearing black. There was only one shop in the high street that sold those. Everyone in the village owned the same pyjamas in various colours and patterns. Bernie knew that Serena had the burgundy ones too. She scolded herself for being so invested.

Serena found it easy to lay with her and talk through the night. Bernie wasn't easy to drag information from but if you let her be, she'd let slip something every so often. Serena was willing to take her time over it. It had been a while since she'd had someone sleep over and this time there would be no awkward early morning goodbyes. She was getting too old to bed those travelling salesmen. Bernie felt like a better fit in her bed than any of them did. She unconsciously snuggled closer and that's where they found themselves the next morning. Face to face smushed into their pillows. They'd thoroughly enjoyed themselves, prompting Bernie to be a little bolder and suggest they do it again sometime. The smile Serena gave her made it difficult to focus, something Dylan noticed in rehearsals. Something of a smile graced his face when he wiggled his eyebrows in Serena's direction while talking to Bernie. Bernie shushed him and flared crimson. Turning around, Bernie caught her eye and couldn't help smiling back. Dylan celebrated with some lime in his tonic that night, more animated than Bernie had ever seen him.


	14. Chapter 14

Serena's perfume was still on the necklines of her costumes, Bernie couldn't help brushing past them to smell it again. Raf walked past as she did and cleared his throat inquisitively. Bernie spun round, blushing furiously. She felt like she'd been unmasked as a pervert.

'Costumes ok?'

'Yes, fine.' She busied herself by setting out the accessories, pretending that she hadn't seen Raf's knowing smile. The real thing was walking through the door and the first dress was up. Showtime tonight and everyone felt pressured. The hair was next. Serena had such short hair, Bernie thought it best to twist the fringe in simple finger waves in a side parting. It didn't look entirely respectable for a Baroness but considering how angelic she was going to have to make Liberty, Bernie thought it could pass. Taming the hair at the back of the neck into a sleeker look, she was aware of being so close she could taste Serena's perfume. She must have been aware of Bernie's breath on her neck but she gave no sign of it. Bernie focused as she finalised the waves. Just as she was finishing, she noticed a smattering of tiny jagged scars running alongside the back of Serena's shoulders and neck. She faltered in her work, too busy observing it but Serena didn't seem to notice.

Finishing off the makeup, she breathed a sigh of relief at her handiwork. Serena looked up her and smiled as Bernie looked down to the garnet painted lips. When she did raise her eyes, she caught a sparkle from the other woman that made her close off her expression, not wanting to encourage it in herself. She wordlessly watched her slip on the paste jewellery, the fake ruby ring glinting in the light. She felt like her feelings were trapped right there, swirling around in the stone for Serena to unwittingly carry around.

Serena wanted to say something, to feel the same energy she'd felt between them so many times but didn't know what to say. She sensed Bernie's reserve and just thanked her, left the chair for another character.

Bernie felt like a fool.


	15. Chapter 15

Edward got his moment to shine, the little twerp. Bea, triumphant in her stage debut was radiant next to the puffed-out weasel of a Captain which gratified Serena. He was well past it, she thought spitefully. Lola came out, resplendent in her nun's habit and brought the house down. She was going to milk every moment. Ric clapped especially hard for her. She shot him a glance that said  _dinner tomorrow tonight at mine_. He signalled an enthusiastic  _yes_. She had been wonderful.

Dylan clapped harder than he'd meant to, overcome with unfamiliar emotion. It had been a marvellous show, Lola's soul clenching rendition of  _climb ever'y mountain_  still ringing in his ears, that reprise that brought down the house as the von Trapps headed for their new life among some blocks concealed as mountains. Charlie and Duffy had made the set look brilliant.

Serena and Raf took their bow, best friends in it together. His exit, being dragged off kicking and screaming was fantastic and much more interesting than her own graceful defeat but she'd summoned up her best imperial elegance and couldn't resist catching Edward's eye as she swished off stage, her character walking off towards a future as isolated and as shadowy as the corner of the wings. The Baroness and Max beamed at each other and was rewarded with a steady applause and some whistling especially for Serena. Most of them from the front row and Fletch's young son, cheeky bugger but she detected some coming from another direction, over to the side. She turned her head and saw a delighted Bernie holding her gaze with uncharacteristic boldness. There was something defiant in her eyes, daring her to acknowledge the brazen look of delight she had for her. Serena had never seen that in her before.


	16. Chapter 16

They shared a bed again, this time almost touching. Tentatively uncurling hands and touching fingers. It had derailed their rehashing of the show. They had united in the glee when Liberty had departed for London in a flurry, at the beck and call of her boyfriend, much to Edward's chagrin. Bea had been the victor and she had done a splendid job. They put off talking about the moment where their eyes had met as the curtain came down, they'd had no time to talk at the after party and they'd decided to wait because soon enough, Bernie had leaned forward and touched lips. Serena thought she'd faint, it'd felt so good. Nothing had felt so natural at that point but to nuzzle and peck at each other. The serious kissing was yet to come. Bernie explained why she'd frozen in the dressing room.

'I haven't held someone's hand for a very long time. Or touched anyone, really. It doesn't feel like something I'd do anymore and it overwhelmed me. But with you, I feel safe.'

'I've got to find out so much more about you' murmured Serena, stroking her wrist. 'Maybe if you unbuttoned yourself a little bit more.'

Bernie did what she suggested as if in a trance. She'd do anything Serena suggested right now. The way she was looking at her made her dizzy. Serena meant to have her way and if it meant having Bernie up against a wall, that's what she would do. Soon those burgundy pyjamas were going to come off but not before they'd exhausted themselves in kisses.

They kissed every scar and didn't ask questions. That was for the next evening. Then they would find out more about each other, fight about it, cry about it and find a way to do this. The children, the exes, the gossip about the village, they were going to work it out between them.

The next sunrise was the start of their mature menopausal lives and they couldn't wait to whether out the good, the bad and the ugly with each other.


End file.
